Loss and Healing
by Ghilasmelana
Summary: A one shot story: What happened immediately after the Inquisitor lost her Mark and her arm. Cullen x Female Mage Inquisitor alongside with Varric, Cassandra, Dorian and Leliana. A little comfort the Inquisitor deserved after her ordeal with Solas.


It took too long. Cassandra could hardly tell the time in this shattered and ruined place but her internal clock was ticking and there was still no sign of the Inquisitor anywhere. She started to pace same as she often did when something couldn't be immediately handled. She could feel her blood getting hotter with each passing minute. It was pointless fighting her own nature. After all there was a reason why Varric referred to her as the most hot-headed member of the Inquisition.

With gritting of teeth, she set her jaw and turned to face the dwarf in question with what she had hoped looked like a neutral face. She did not want him to think she was snarling at him. There was no reason anymore after all. They were friends if she dared to call it like that. Well internally she did, none of them spoke the word aloud around each other. Yet it was comforting to know that they were not on hostile term anymore. It was certainly less taxing and required less annoyed grunts.

"I am going through to see what is happening. Stay here in case any reinforcements arrive." Cassandra said in a strained voice, she fought back the haste in her voice as well as a concern for their mutual friend. If she was unsure about her and Varric's relationship that was one thing, but she was certain that they both considered the Inquisitor their dear friend.

Varric waved his hands in a half protest but sure enough took hold of his crossbow and nodded. "Fine Seeker but you owe me one. I'll come running if more of the Qunari show up." He walked a little bit back and found a good spot behind a small rubble of what once must have been a low wall. A good spot for cover which also allowed him a good view on the way they came from and an advantage of a first shot at whatever enemy might step through.

"I will be swift." Cassandra nodded in appreciation and sped towards the glowing mirror.

It was the oddest of sensations. The surface of the mirror or _Eluvian_ as the apostate mage they recruited after the ball in the Winter Palace called it, felt cold and warm at the same time. Cassandra only touched it for a moment before she felt her body being drawn forward by the forces which bend space and somehow connected these ancient elven artifacts. And in a matter of a moments she appeared on the other side.

Sun was shining low now, the rays gently painting the ruined and broken landscape in an orange and red hue. It took a moment before she fully comprehended what she saw. Ruins everywhere, elven most likely, overgrown by vegetation and littered with Qunari who were turned into statues with expressions of utmost horror on their faces, frozen in the moment when the magic hit them. Some were holding weapons, some were fleeing, desperately trying to get away from whatever killed them and turned them into stone.

Cassandra slowly moved forward, sword ready in hand and her eyes were peeled for any movement while she strained her hearing for any other sounds other than distant chirping of birds and faint rushing of water from some unseen waterfall ahead.

A cry of pain brought her into sprint then into full run. It was the Inquisitor there was no doubt about it and she sounded desperate. She heard her in pain before, on the battlefield or more recently when her mark started to be erratic, but this was different. More primal and more painful.

"Inquisitor!" Cassandra cried out as she weaved her way through the maze of petrified Qunari.

Finally, she made it to a clearing, the splashing of the waterfall was now more profound, and she found herself standing in front of the largest _Eluvian_ she had ever seen. The surface shimmered faintly but the magic was fading. At first, she thought there was no one there but it took a mere moment before she noticed a crumpled form of her friend laying in the grass. There was residual green glow and sparks around the Inquisitor, and she was not moving.

"Inquisitor!" Cassandra spoke loudly once more and hastened her steps towards the laying body.

She gently shook the woman on the ground by her shoulder but there was no response. The green glow fully dissipated and when she used a bit more force to turn the Inquisitor around to see her face, Cassandra's mouth fell open. Where once was the marked hand was now nothing. Not even an empty sleeve. It seemed as if everything below the elbow was consumed by that accursed Mark.

"Inquisitor…" Cassandra tried again gently. "Evelyn!" But there was no reply. The woman in front of her laid motionless and Cassandra was reminded of the first time she met the Inquisitor after they brought her from the Breach.

She noticed the shallow breathing and beads of sweat glistening on Inquisitor's forehead and let out a relieved sigh. She was not dead. Gently and with utmost care to not touch the mangled arm, Cassandra hoisted the unconscious form of her friend into her arms and set out to leave this Maker forsaken place. It was only now that she noticed how little the Inquisitor weight. Even with the heavy robes it was barely any effort to carry her and Cassandra's face darkened with worry. How could they have not noticed that the mark was probably consuming her alive. Culled also said nothing. Although now that she thought about it, it was probably because Evelyn asked him not to.

Cassandra made her way back slowly, carefully planting her feet between the grass, moss and rubble to avoid tripping accidentally. Half an hour she emerged from the Eluvian to the clearing where she left Varric waiting.

The dwarf turned, and his face looked like he had some snarky comment lined up only for him to instantly look shocked and concerned. "Whoa Seeker, what happened…is she?" He did not finish his sentence, but the line of thought was apparent.

"She is alive but wounded. We need to get her back fast." Cassandra gently nudged her arm to make sure Inquisitor's head was safely resting against her arm. Even through her armor she could feel the burning of fewer which started to set in and was more than certain that a few painful moans escaped Inquisitor's parched lips. "Varric, run ahead and make sure they are ready." Cassandra ordered in her most neutral but also most commanding voice.

"Yeah, sure Seeker." He did not have to be told that twice. Varric hoisted Bianca on his shoulder and was half way sprinting towards the exit as fast as his legs could carry him. _Damn his dwarven short legs._ He cursed in his mind.

"And get Cullen. He has to know." He could hear Cassandra cry out behind him but only waved his hand in a sign that he heard her, too caught up in the sprint to stop and answer.

By the time Varric burst through the _Eluvian_ in the Winter Palace he was wheezing and panting, and his brows were dripping with sweat. The guards gave him odd looks, most of them had weapons ready in hands but he had barely any time to explain. Instead he opted out to make things simple.

"Get Leliana, Commander, Dorian and any healer you can find!" He barked in a string of words which he had hoped were coherent enough.

Judging by the hasty retreat of the Inquisition soldiers they either understood him alright or he looked desperate enough for them to go and look for help. That left him with a few moments to catch his breath and start idly pacing before the mirror in a wait for Cassandra and the Inquisitor.

"What happened?" Cullen asked, worry etched in his face when he saw Varric alone.

"We ran into the Qunari and then found another _Eluvian_. Inquisitor rushed ahead to try and get to the Qunari leader while we stayed behind to deal with any leftover forces should they come running." Varric started explaining now that his breathing mostly calmed down.

"I have no idea what happened but when she did not come back Seeker went looking for her and found her…well…wounded or something." Cullen must have looked more shocked than he felt because Varric wildly waved his hands in an universal negative sign. "No worries she was breathing and everything, Seeker is carrying her back." Varric assured him but Cullen still felt as if an empty pit suddenly appeared in his stomach.

He hated this. Every time Evelyn left the Skyhold to deal with the Rifts, bandits, red templars, crazed mages or demons he was terrified. He would not say it openly, but it was hard. He had to stay behind to coordinate the troops, but he wished to have been there with her. To protect her. And once more he had to stay behind to appease the politicians and the make sure the Inquisition soldiers won't cause problems while his wife was outside fighting and now wounded.

 _Maker please, let her be alright._

As if on que the mirror behind Varric shimmered and after only a moment Cassandra stepped through with Evelyn firmly in her arms. And Cullen almost stumbled. She looked so pale and jerked in pained spasms. Her face glistened with sweat and she had deep, dark circles under her eyes.

"Cassandra what…" But he was interrupted by the Seeker.

"It is the mark. I do not know what happened, but it is gone…" Cassandra paused before she added: "As well as her arm." She replied gravely and to make her point gently shifted Evelyn in her arms to reveal the missing appendage.

Cullen sucked in a breath and a pained sob escaped his throat as he moved closer to his wife. He knew the mark was getting worse, but she firmly told him not to worry about it, that she had it under control. _Blasted woman. Always so stubborn_.

But there was nothing he could do. It was as if her arm from elbow down have been erased from existence. There was no blood, no visible cut. The flesh just ended in a healed stump and the marked hand was gone. _At least the flares stopped._ He mused as he gently took Evelyn from Cassandra's arms without even thinking about it and wrapped her in his own embrace to carry her to their quarters.

"Can you make sure there are as few people outside as possible?" Cullen said through tight throat as he set out of the cramped room.

"Already taken care of." Leliana replied from the doorway, her face grave but collected.

"Thank you." Cullen replied and moved out all the while his heart hammered in his chest like a frantic bird. He couldn't remember when the last time was, he felt this afraid.

It took several hours and many visits from the Inquisition mages and healers. They did all they could with magic, potions and herbs to ease the fever and shock which Evelyn's body was going through.

"I am feeling positive Curly." Varric said and laid his hand on Cullen's shoulder while they both waited in the hall before the door to the quarters which Cullen shared with the Inquisitor.

"Maker…I hope you are right." Cullen replied but his voice sounded weak. He felt drained. He hated waiting and meanwhile there was nothing he could do. Once more he was powerless.

"Hey, she is though. Something like this will not bring her down." Varric nodded and gave him another pat.

"I know." Cullen muttered but his thoughts were focused on listening to anything which might be heard from the room through the closed door.

As if sensing his trail of thoughts Varric cleared his throat awkwardly and stood up from the ornamental wooden bench they shared.

"I'll go check on the others and make sure to find you some dinner." Varric offered a reassuring smile and retreated to give Cullen the much needed space.

It felt like eternity. Cullen could hear people chatting outside in the gardens below through the opened window at the other side of the halls. He could not make out the words but by the idle and carefree tone he judged they knew nothing of what has happened.

 _Good, they did not need Orlesian nobles breathing down their necks more than they already were._

Finally, the door to their quarters opened with a small click and Dorian stepped through. He looked spent but was smiling. "She would like to see you." He announced with a smug in his voice and Cullen rushed forward and gave the tevinter mage a tight hug. The relief washed over him like a wave of warm water.

"Is she going to be alright?" He asked and took a step back when he realized his unusual response and resumed his more stoic composure.

"Not that I do not appreciate a good hug Commander, after all you are everybody's dream, but Evelyn would probably kill me if I tried anything." Dorian laughed, his eyes sparkling with a good mood even though is face looked ragged with exhaustion. "But yes, she will be alright. The shock subsided, and she is resting. A few days and she will be on her feet once more."

Cullen nodded and opted to not reply to the jab from the mage. There will be another time when he could get even with Dorian. Perhaps another game of chess.

"And her arm?" He asked finally the question which pained him the most.

"Ah…that is I am afraid another matter." Dorian sighed, and the smile evaporated from his face. "I do not know what caused it and I did not wish to question her in her state. My guess is the Mark flared and disintegrated the hand with it."

Cullen winced at the words and balled his hands into tight fists. It sounded incredibly painful.

"But from what I can tell there is no wound and she can move the rest of the arm just fine." Dorian paused uncomfortably. "So…that is good news at least." He added slowly, probably noticing the darkened expression on Cullen's face.

"Anyways, you can go in, she was asking for you."

"I…thank you." Cullen said through tight throat as he merely nodded while Dorian gave him a small pat on the shoulder before he walked out of the hallway.

Their bedroom was lit only minimally by the candles on the little table in the foyer and soft glow from the crackling fireplace. The window was slightly opened, and he could smell the evening breeze which brought with it the sweet scent of summer blooms from the gardens below.

Cullen slowly made his way through foyer and took off his gloves and the red military jacket. He left the clothes haphazardly on one of the ornamental Orlesian chairs which seemed everywhere and then emerged from around the half wall and into the bedroom itself.

Their bed had been moved probably to make more space for all the people who were there mere moments ago practicing their healing arts. Now he could see his side empty and the other side occupied by Evelyn who was resting with her right arm over the covers, but her face was turned to him with a weak smile on her lips.

"Evelyn." He breathed out in a relief and sped up to sit next to her on the bed.

She shifted slightly and reached out to him, her hand pale and a bit cold and he clasped it between his palms almost feeling like he needed to touch her to know she was truly alright and real.

"Shh I am here." Cullen said in a whisper while he laid on the bed next to her and after a moment she moved to cuddle into his embrace.

"I am sorry." Evelyn murmured into his chest and Cullen reached out to gently stroke her hair.

"What for?" He asked and held her tighter with his other hand. Today showed him how easily she could have been gone and that was something he vowed to not allow. From now on should there be any other Inquisition mission he would accompany her with sword in hand and no amount of work or protests would stop him.

"That I made you worry." Evelyn replied softly, the tiredness dripping from her every word.

"Maker…do not apologize for that." Cullen whispered and planted a soft kiss at the top of her head which earned him a content sigh from her. "The most important thing is, that you are alright."

He shifted his arm around her and without thinking about it touched her left arm and felt her take in a sharp breath and tense next to him. "I am sorry, does it hurt you?" Cullen asked with a concern and moved a bit away, so he could look at her.

"No but…oh Cullen I am so sorry." Evelyn buried her face into his chest and it seemed her carefully constructed guard finally broke as she started to sob, and he felt hot tears stain his shirt.

There was nothing he could do. He could not imagine how she felt but he knew he could help at least a bit. He wrapped his arms around her and held her. Let her cry out all the fear, worries and pain she must have felt while he gently stroked her hair and whispered sweet nothings. He did not know what was in store for them in the future, or what would happen with the Inquisition. But he knew one thing. He would be there for the woman he loved no matter what. And if this was just another test from the Maker, he was sure they would overcome it together.

As if she could sense his musings Evelyn slowly relaxed and her crying faded into gentle sobs and then the sleep threatened to overcome her.

"You do not have to apologize for anything Evelyn. No matter what happens, we will face it together." He whispered and felt his body finally relax when the woman he loved, _his wife_ , fell asleep curled up in his arms. They were finally free from the mark and the horrors it brought with it. It was time to move on and heal.


End file.
